Today

Today you've shown me just how little you care about me and how much you depend on me. I have always known and joked about how If I'm not at home or not doing my usual stuff, you don't eat. For an entire week you have been sick in bed, in your usual spoiled demeanor, asking to be fed, and complaining baout how you're dying from the flu.

Today I am sick, with the same flu and you can't even give yourself one mintute to take care of me, or feed yourself. The kids won't eat if we don't eat, and we don't eat if I don't feed you. This day has proved to me how much energy I put into feeling for us. You have no feeling left.

I don't know why I'm surprised, you've always been like this. The one time I took a five day trip to Rio, you didn't eat, didn't even get out of bed, or brush your long beautiful hair. I came back and you had shaved your head, you looked gaunt and all I could feel about my holiday was guilt.

I am as sick as you were a week ago, when you felt like you were dying and everything hurt. I feel the same. Yet you still berate me over how hungry you are and how you want me to go shop for drinks are the store. You made me so angry that I threw things across the room. You show our kids just how to be an asshole, what do you think they will learn from all this?

That mothers are just maids and nannies and angry people that cry. That we deserve no respect, or recognition, we don't deserve to be treated like people. Today you have lost so many points with me it's note even funny.

The last little rays of hope that I have for us are dwindling.